As a child, I wondered, Will life get better when I'm older? Will people see me for who I am? Will they care about what I have to say? Will they listen to my voice, hear my opinions, and validate the things I’ve always craved to speak about? I wanted to be more than just a shadow, just a face in the crowd. I wanted my existence to mean something. ALL I wanted to know was Will I ever be okay? Will someone ever see me and think, 'she's enough'!!! will anyone ever recognize me?
As I grew up, I realized life wasn't what the child inside me expected. She had hopes that the world would eventually see her, that time would make things better. But the truth? The truth is that the struggles, the heartache, the times I felt unseen they weren't just random events. They shaped me. They were there to help me become who I am now. The girl who once wanted to be heard, to be noticed, is now someone who craves solitude. A quiet space to think, to write, to pour out the thoughts that once went unheard. Every word I write is a whisper to that younger version of me. A reminder that she was always enough even if no one else saw it.
She wanted love, she wanted care, she wanted to be seen. But now, I see her I hear her. And I understand that the pain those things that made me feel small were the very forces that made me strong. They made me into someone who no longer seeks validation from others, who doesn't need anyone else to confirm her worth. Because I've learned to look inward and find it. The version of me that once felt broken is now whole. The girl who dreamed of being seen is now learning to see herself, in ways I never thought were possible.
Sometimes, I still feel the sting of anxiety in social situations, the fear of not being enough. But even in those moments, I remind myself that I am not defined by others perceptions. I am defined by my own love for myself. By my ability to rise from the things that tried to tear me down.
What happened to me, what I went through, it wasn't to break me. It was to build me into someone who is unshakable, someone who can protect and love herself, no matter what the world says or does. And I know deep down, that those painful moments, the scars I carry, they were all part of the story that led me here.
So, to my child self, I say, Yes, you were heard. Yes, you were seen. And Yes you are enough.
I see you now and I will always hear your words.
And to anyone else who feels like they've been lost in the noise of the world, to anyone who wonders if they'll ever be enough. We will be alright. We are always enough. We are strong enough to grow from the pain, to rise from the ashes, to be proud of who we are becoming. Keep going, keep believing, and keep loving yourself because you are exactly who you were always meant to be.